PEACE of junk
If you follow my blog, it’s no surprise that when I write, I dissect myself. Dig deep. Find something that I didn’t notice before. Like scissors.
Well, it has now been a year of blogging, and I have to say that I’m lying on a cold, sterile, surgical table…completely unassembled. I have hidden nothing. There is no more darkness. No deception. No privacy. Just pieces lying on a table. Staring up at you. Blink, blink.
But ummm…Before you start hyperventilating; I am not dead yet. I’m here because I want to be RE-assembled. RE-directed. and RE-focused.
Ready to be “RE-made”…I’ve made time to target the first piece I need to put me back together again. Trust me when I say that this PIECE has been fully over-analyzed. I’ve spent the entire last week considering what sort of foundation I want to lay for my new “body.” I’ve decided that it’s an inside, foundational piece.
It started with this question I asked:
Q: “If it were in my power to change ONLY ONE THING about my life, what would that be?”
PART ONE: The first Piece
As I considered the Question, I went for a walk. I let the answer come to me before the understanding did. I have spent the week trying to understand my answer.
I want to feel PEACE.
PEACE *in the middle of*
PEACE *in spite of*
A Piece of Quiet
What (on-God’s-blue/green-earth) does that mean? What does PEACE even look like?!
Five puppies crawling all over my body?
A ten hour day at the spa?
Yoga poses at sunrise on the beach with the perfect outfit?
Sliding down a wet rainbow with a polka-dot umbrella?
I could go on…
As goofy as they are, these examples of peace are based on circumstances. When peace is based on circumstances, it disappears as soon as your polka-dot umbrella gets stolen.
*That’s not the kind of peace I am looking for.*
The kind of peace I want to set my FOUNDATION on has GOT TO GO deeper than that. It has to reach beyond the spa, and beach and the polka-dots (no offense to poka-dots).
I need the kind of peace that occurs in the middle of the UNPEACEFUL. Maybe you do too. I need a sense of patience when my faith gets tested, my morals need re-calibration, my dreams appear to be insurmountable, and my energy reserves are completely EMPTY.
Does that even exist?
the high price for a PEACE of cake
This is what I have been thinking about all week long.
I’ve realized that my level of PEACE is linked directly to my Values.
A few of my personal Values: my time, fitness, decisiveness, a clean house, creativity, honesty, information, spirituality…to name a small few.
When I pursue my Values, I feel peace. The extent to which I treasure each Value determines the level of peace in my life when I pursue it. When I don’t have peace, it is because I
…am denying myself access to something I value (forgiveness, connection, truth)
…am sacrificing one value on behalf of another (I may be exercising my rights but hindering the flow of love)
OR…I have placed value on something that is not happening (if I value fitness, but make no time to exercise)
To illustrate this: if I value money, I feel at peace when I obtain money, and lose peace when I waste money meaninglessly. This would happen both with situations that are IN my control (when I purchase something) and not in my control (when I have to call a plumber because I plugged the sink…again).
Subsequently, I could go on for hours, exploring probable situations where this conflict is appearing, but it is more beneficial if you explore this for yourselves.
When two Values conflict
There will be times when two Values conflict with each other. You can still feel peace in the middle of this conflict, but you need to understand what is going on in the background.
I’ll get personal here. I value my Time. Like money, time is a limited quantity, so it is important for me to spend it doing things that I Value. Having just said that, I Value spending time with my family AND reading blogs. Sometimes there is a conflict between the two which causes me to lose peace.
If I value both my family AND blogging, the time I spend with my family will depend on where I place the Value of blogging. If I value my family more, I will stop reading when they are available and make time for them, thus feeling at peace with myself. BUT if I value my family more than blogging yet still cannot seem to pull myself away to spend time with them, my level of peace dissipates as I abandon the lesser Value for the other. I become irritable and complain about the lack of time to do “Everything I want.” (Hint: When you feel like there is never enough time to do what you want, you are not organizing your Values properly.)
Discovering what you Value is an important part of finding PEACE; however, you must also weigh the priority of Values to find PEACE.
Peace comes as a result of actions, not words. If you want to have PEACE, your actions must reflect your convictions.
An important distinction
This is an intensely personal process. I am the only one who can assign priority to my own set of Values. I cannot set my Values according to someone else’s Values. Neither can I assume that their Values are the same as mine.
If I have someone in my life who assumes I Value something that I don’t, I must communicate my priorities or conflict will arise (this means saying “NO”).
If someone in my life pushes their Values onto me, the only way their list should make it onto mine is if “Obeying Your Values” is one of my values. And, it’s clearly not. Ha.
the first bite(s)
Still not sure where to start? I’ve split up my posts into three parts so the information is not overwhelming. If you are looking for peace in your life, please take this journey with me.
- Ask yourself if you need more peace. Are you willing to do what it takes to get it back?
- Write down a list of the things you Value.
- Arrange your Values in order from most-to-least important.
- Study your list. Figure out the ways you are NOT following your Values.
- Make time to establish changes.
>>>Up next…in Part TWO I will elaborate about how my level of peace is affected by AREAS OF COMPROMISE!!!