You know how you sometimes come across that posting that makes you go “hell ya” and “preach it, brother” and then you fall to your knees and repent? Well, this post did that for me. She explains beautifully how being a “control freak” (the secret’s out…I know you are!) ties into our relationships and affects what love is and what love is not.
Here’s a quote:
“So when we want to show love to someone, we often try to control that person and make that person do what we think is good for him or her. But that is not really love at all.”
Click here to read more via control freaks.
Isn’t that the truth! True love releases! (With boundaries, but that’s a different thing.)
i learned i mistook control for love, thankfully i learned it, or what a mess it would have been in my marriage…it was learned behaivour, it’s how my abusive family ran
Yes…I am just learning what that really means…will I ever fully understand it? I find it very profound.
I think being aware of it is really important. There are a LOT of us who are control freaks, but don’t see a problem with it or else don’t acknowledge that we are! Yes, definitely a learned behaviour…but also one of comfort too…we learn that if we can control our environment, then we will feel comfortable.
yes and safe! but really it isn’t safe for us or anyone else!
totally.
A lot of people fall in love with someone based more on what they think they might become, not what the are.
Yeah, there is truth in that! I have heard it said that women marry men hoping to change them, but they don’t and men marry women hoping they don’t change, and they do.
But I couldn’t help changing…I got married at 21. I wouldn’t have wanted to stay like that. But I’m digressing.
The fact is that love can only be pure if it is free.
Like all simple truths, that is an ideal that is difficult to achieve.
I can’t hear you right now.